Thursday, June 24, 2010

Sunburn and Scale Gods

I've been lucky to be steadily losing, but the past few days I was stuck at 275 point something. I know it was TOM, but boy was it frustrating! Yesterday the Hubs and I went swimming, because it's been unholy hot here in VA, and of course I got a sunburn. And sunburns being sunburns, I didn't know right away, but ended up taking a long nap yesterday. Woke up in the evening, noticed the burn and started worrying. The Hubs was quick to point that sunburns can make you retain water. My goal of hitting 274 seemed out of reach.

But the scale gods were kind this morning and I woke to a pound loss! I only have a few more days to get to 269, not sure I can do it, but I'm hopeful. TOM appears to be leaving the party, so I'm hoping the fat will leave with him. I only have a few more days of injections and then onto p3! Next round I'll go for the 43 days, but I know I'm making the right decision. It would be too hard to be on a strict diet during my entire 3 week vacation, and I'm not quite ready to share my diet with my family. It's going to take another round at least before my losses are dramatic enough to really show. But I'm going to get there. I still can't believe all that I've lost so far!

HCG is changing my life. My friend Ame, by introducing me to HCG and continuously answering my most inane and annoying questions, is changing my life. She, by the way, should be made the poster girl for HCG. I half joked that when she reached her goal weight we'll have her burst through a life sized photo of her previous self and post the video to youtube. But I'm thinking we'll figure out a way to do that for real. How empowering would that be?

The beautiful thing about HCG is that, if done properly, it works for everyone. Whether you have 20 pounds or 200 pounds to lose, it's going to work if you put in the effort. Follow protocol, stabilize (my next hurdle!) and live healthier, lather, rinse, repeat. I used to be one of those people that would kind of roll my eyes when people complained about their weight if they had less than 20 pounds to lose. I would have gladly traded places with them! But I know that often the less you have to lose the harder it is. Right now I'm averaging a 1.1o loss a day, but that might change the closer I get to my goal (still a long way off, folks). I will get there, I will continue and work hard on my end, and let the HCG do it's job. That's how I've managed not to cheat, knowing that if I just hang in there and resist temptation I'll be rewarded on the scale.

And in a strange way, Facebook and this blog keeps me honest. Knowing I have to post my weight firms up my willpower not to cheat. I have NEVER told anyone what I way, not willingly. One of the best things about getting my VA driver's license was not having to lie about my weight for once. I avoided weighing myself for so long that I honestly hadn't realized how big I'd gotten, and I've purposely avoided the scale most my life. If I don't know my weight than I can pretend. I self-delusionalized myself into obesity. But it's a new day and I'm taking control!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Going Out, But Not Eating Out

Today had me worried. I work as a home health care companions, but a few Saturdays a month I spend the afternoon with a young lady with childhood dementia. We have a lot of fun, we go to movies, have lunch, and shop. But on p2 there aren't any restaurants that have any food I can eat. So I've been dreading today all week long.

I knew that I had to eat something while I was with her- my shift was from 10am to 5pm. So I packed some chicken, apple and tomatoes and put them in a cooler with cold pack and hoped for the best. She'd already eaten breakfast by the time I got there, so after we got her all ready we headed out to the movies. There was a few minutes of panic when I was afraid I'd have to take her into the city to Mexican Restaurant to meet up with a potential new caregiver, but lucky me that plan fell through. So instead I got to take her to Toy Story 3 3D. I spent $4 on a 1 liter bottle of water, and chugged it merrily through the movie. Then it was time for lunch.

My client loves Arby's and Panera. I love Panera too, so we went to Arby's- why torture myself? I stuck my chicken in my purse and in to Arby's we went. Ordered yet another bottle of water and discreetly as possible I took the chicken out of my purse, which was thankfully still cool as today has been pretty hot. It wasn't the most flavorful piece of chicken, so I added a teeny tiny bit of hot sauce. Success!

We still had a couple of hours to kill, and the only festival in town was a wine one. So I took her to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch soccer. I ordered her an sweet tea and the least appetizing (for me) dessert- Apple Pie. Dang, did it look good! But I drank my water and sipped a couple small cups of coffee. Success!

The past two days have been easier. I still get mad cravings at time, but if I can avoid physically handling the yummy food I want, I do so much better. For all of you out there with kids and hubbies that demand the treats you deny yourself, my hat is off to you! And to my friend Ame, who manages to work at Panera without mainlining the potato soup. :) My Hubs, Aaron, has been fairly awesome about eating around me- other than the heavenly smelling turkey he made (which normally I don't care for much) and the whole milk he needs to get his calories in after he works out. Oh, to have his metabolism!

Since I'm only doing 23 days this first round, I am half way done already! I've lost a little over 16 pounds and would love to take off another 10 by the end. I want to me in the 260's by vacation!! I think I can get there, even if it takes through p3.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

French Fry Day Dreams...

Of all the food I miss, french fries and pizza are topping the list. I don't have much hunger (except now that TOM is hanging around) and I'm sticking to protocol like a barnacle. But I've worked all week long fixing food for my Home Health Care Companion client and I've had to deal with massive temptation. Only the thought of facing the scales in the morning have kept me on track. But those tempting morsels of food are going on my list...

My loading list. I know that in p4 you get to introduce starches and sugar back into your diet (hello, potatoes, my old friend!) but I honestly can't wait until my next loading days. I'm keeping a list of all the food that is tormenting me now in P2, and will continue to tease and taunt me in P3. I honestly wish I had planned my first loading days better, but I was eager to start the diet. Ah, the impatience of youth... or myself 12 days ago.

I'm keeping the faith and I plan on keeping it. Despite the temptation, I so far have resisted the urge to follow pizza delivery cars around, which I think is commendable. Thinking about food is just another hurdle I have to overcome. I know it's not normal for Pizza Hut drivers to take out restraining orders on ordinary folks. I'll be thankful next week when my schedule gets back to normal and I don't have to deal with quite as many food obstacles. :)

P3 will be here before I know it, I'm already almost half way there! And I know I just wrote a post describing all the many temptations I've been facing, but 90% of the time I'm good. It's just that the french fries were so hot and perfect looking... *sigh* Time for dinner, which I promise will be completely P2 compliant!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Pounds and Inches Lost!

Yesterday was a great day! I felt better, less hunger, less cravings and more energy. Yesterday was my 4th day of VLCD and on any other diet this would probably be the day I cheat just a bit. And I had the opportunity when I took a grocery trip to Wally World, all my usual cheats were there, waiting to re-connect with me. But I avoided eye contact, ashamed and completely over our secretive and clandestine past relations. Well, mostly over. I still think about them now and then.

I also bought some b-12 which I've been told helps with energy. I should have gotten it earlier in the week when I really needed it because my energy seems to be returning now. I feel so much better than I thought I would! Thursday was a low point for me, I was exhausted and I had worked all day surrounded by temptation, and crashed when I got home. Waking up to a loss helped me feel better about the day, and I vowed to myself to stop being such a cry baby. Isn't it better to give up my favorite junk foods through my own choice instead of waiting for diabetes or something worse to force me to change my ways?

Today is Saturday and I woke up to 2.4 loss, which had me smiling! The Hubs helped me measure my first load day, so we measured again and I'm down 7.5 inches total. I'm down almost 10 pounds since Tuesday! And I've been making the Hubs give me shots, but today I did it myself. I don't have a fear of needles but it is seriously weird to inject myself. But I'm betting my simple, painless injection in my fat ass thigh is a lot easier than shooting up meth, which was beginning to look mighty tempting as a weight loss method. Well, except for the cost, addiction, illegality, craziness, jerky movements and tooth loss...

I think I might try to vlog today too. I just feel so much better, I was really beginning to think I might not be able to do this, but I'm over that bump. I'm so happy, and I really feel healthier. I'm not drinking soda, not eating crap which means I'm not getting the acid reflux I had on my loading days. I think the miracle of HCG is that it gets you to eat healthy by giving you quick results. Would it have been as easy without HCG? Eating healthy for five days I might have lost a pound or two, which in the past hasn't been enough incentive to stay away from the crappy foods I love. I know I have a long, long way to go. But I really believe I can make it there, with the support of my husband, my friends, all of you, and HCG, I'm really on my way to a thinner, healthier me!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

First Release!

My first release was great!! I was really worried since my TOM has been hanging around that I wouldn't lose anything, or that the loss would be small. But I lost over 4 pds, and those are pounds I have no intention of trying to find!

Yesterday was rough. It wasn't that I was hungry so much, but I felt kind of empty. I'm attributing this to the fact that my tummy got all stretched out during the load and will take a few days to shrink. It was actually hard to eat all the food on protocol- but would it have been as hard if it were food I really loved? I did pretty well during the morning and afternoon. The evening was difficult because I'm a caregiver to wonderful older lady, and her family always tries to feed me.

However, despite the temptation, I said no thank you to the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie they tried to shove down my throat. I said no! However, her family is Italian, and they talk about food. A lot. And did you ever realize how many commercials on tv are about food? A ridiculous amount!

But I knew that if I held it together and just made it to morning, it would be worth it. Not that I one hundred percent believed myself, but I've deceived myself over far worse issues. I'm glad I resisted temptation. I'm glad I drank all that water, I'm even thinking about buying stock in Cottonelle. I'm glad I didn't self sabotage myself. And most of all I'm glad to have people, and a community, to be accountable to. Thanks for keeping me going!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Five Guys and Load Day 2

Yesterday was my first load day on my very first round of HCG. It didn't go as well as I had hoped because I had to work and attend my niece's birthday party (she turned one!). I got off work at 9:30am and made it home 15 minutes later. I did my first weigh in and measurements (with the help of my wonderful Hubs!). He had made bacon, so I was able to eat some while he got my first injection ready. Then he injected the HCG (after a few minutes so it wouldn't be too cold, lol) into my bum. It took him a few tries because I think he was afraid of hitting a nerve- today was much better, he just went for it.

From that point on things got hectic. My brother Mike called and asked if we could take a few of his kids in our car to my niece Fiona's birthday party. We still had to get her present, so that meant leaving a lot earlier than we had planned on. And it was freaking hot yesterday! I tossed down some mini quiche while getting ready for the party and made sure I drank a lot of water.

We got to the party which was outdoors at a park a little after 1pm. The food wasn't all that great though. Hamburgers and hotdogs, but they weren't particularly tasty. Plus I have trouble eating when it's hot outside. I had a great time hanging with the family, but I really didn't eat much and only had a few bits of the birthday cake. I would have much preferred the party be at Chuck E Cheese or something, but it was fun.

By the time we dropped of my niece Sam at home (after a brief panic because my brother Mike thought one of his son's was with us, but it turned out Devin was just down by the lake), and made it to our home it was almost 5pm. I had just over half an hour to gorge before work. I made the mistake of eating 2 slices of cheesecake and downing to very large glasses of whole organic milk. I felt horrible! I was already over tired, over heated and not feeling great. Still, it was lots of fat and calories.

On the way to work it began to storm, which made me feel better, but it took several hours before I felt like eating again. At work I ate macadamia nuts and a couple slices of Papa John's pizza that we had left over from the other day. And drank lots and lots of water! The Hubs had brownies waiting for me when I got home, and I drank another glass of milk. Despite being tired I had a little trouble falling asleep.

I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. Despite the fact I'm on the pill, my TOM can come and go at will. It's much better than it used to be, last year TOM would stay the better part of the month, and sometimes he was quite... enthusiastic in his duties. The thing is I don't always truly ovulate during TOM's visit. Yesterday TOM made an appearance. I was freaking out about it, because it's hard to predict how TOM's visit is going to go, but I've made peace with it. I will take a break if TOM is heavy, but otherwise I'm going to ignore him. I'm really hoping that my first round weight loss will help resolve some of my TOM issues, as a 10% weight loss can help with PcOS. It does explain why I was such a wench yesterday afternoon (I thought it was just the heat!).

Anyways, things are calmer today. I'm not working tonight, so I can take the time to slowly load all day. I had a weight gain this morning of 2.5, which is good, but I know I can do better! And I'm totally having Five Guys for dinner.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Can It Be, HCG?

I ordered my HCG last Wednesday. Today is Friday, but guess what? My HCG arrived this afternoon despite my mailman's reluctance to climb stairs. I swear, I only suggested to Ame that she drive to New York and "persuade" the Customs Agent... Thanks, Ames! ;)

I can't wait to start!!! However I work all day tomorrow including overnight. So I'm starting Sunday, which is good and bad, because I won't get off work until 9:30 am and I have my niece Fiona Kathleen's first birthday party to go to at one (guess who won't be saying no to birthday cake? I might even end up face planting into it before baby Fi can!), and then work again at 6pm to 10pm- but I'll find a way to stuff my face. I also work Monday night the same time, but that leaves me plenty of time to snack, gnaw, gorge and indulge.

I went shopping for some of my gorge food- Bacon, Baked Potatoes (lots of butta and cheese, please!), Cheesecake Sampler, Mini Quiches, Brie (which I'll bake in puff pastry), Kielbasa, Honey BBQ Wings, Organic Whole Milk, Macadamia Nuts, Eggs, Brownie Mix, Philly Cheese Steak kit (my all time fave and I normally despise meal kits), and frito's and bean dip. And if that's not enough I will make a Five Guys run, they have sinfully good hamburgers and fries in the VA, D.C. and Maryland areas and they are to die for... possibly literally. I just hope I don't have a heart attack before I get a chance to start my diet! I'll take a pic before I go to town on my fridge, as Ame says people like to look at everyone's load goodies.

I'm quite sure I'm gonna gain 10 pounds, but I'm not letting that stop me! Proper loading will pay off in the end (and not just my rear end!) so I'm not going to worry about it!

I cleaned out our fridge earlier today, but it was all stuff I wasn't going to load with but that I didn't want around on my diet days. Poor Hubs is going to have to be the one sneaking food now! Not that I buy and hide food... Look over there, I think that's Elvis!

Oh, it wasn't Elvis? My bad. Let's move on!

I made my first vlog today. Click here if you want to see it. I've never made a video before and I really should have made a script or made notes... or made sense. But I was able to add text, so that made me happy- thank you Windows 7 movie maker!

Did I mention how excited I am to finally start HCG? Because I am super excited! I can't wait to post my weight loss on facebook and stop being so jealous of ya'll! Okay, it's late and I need to get ready for a long day tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by~!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Customs and Containers

Yay! My HCG is currently chilling with Customs in New York City and then it'll be on it's way to me! Hello, Gorge Days, can't wait to meet ya!

I've been lucky to be meeting a lot of awesome HCGers on Facebook and along with my friend HCG Ame, I've been able to see a lot of before and after pics. I can't think of any more reason to give the HCG Diet a chance than seeing people completely transform through this process. It's just so inspiring, and it makes me thankful to be given the chance to do this. I don't know if I can do a post without thanking my friend Ame for being my weight loss fairy godmother- Thank you!!

So, still gearing up for Round 1. Just thought I'd share a little thing I'll be doing during P2 (skipping P1 and the whole cleansing thing since it's not in Pounds and Inches). I live in Virginia which is not a state that has requirements on needle disposal, but the Hubs picked up a BD Home Sharps Container. I think you can get it at Walmart, but the pic I'm posting is off Amazon. In Walmart the Hubs found it in the diabetic section. If you're doing the injections at home, you might want to check if there's needle disposal laws in your state. God knows the needle junkies here in Richmond are already too thin, I'm not sharing my HCG!

Things I'm Looking Forward To:

  • Posting my first HCG release results
  • Posting After pictures
  • Making my first HCG vlog